"Naive. Super"

This is not at all what I originally intended to write. That post is actually half written, but I keep not finishing it. Story of my life right now.

Instead, I am going to start with a quote from a book I have been reading: "Naive. Super" by Erlend Loe (translated from the original Norwegian by Tor Ketil Solberg)

The book is about a 25 year old who is struggling to find meaning in his life (not as depressing as it sounds), and this particular part begins with a list. The list is of all of the things he used to find exciting as a child. It's a long list, and the things are incredibly simple. After the list he goes on to say:

"My existence was full of these things. It was so nice and uncomplicated. When I wasn't sleeping I ran around and was excited. I never walked. I ran."
...
"I speculate about making a list of things that excite me today. I find a pen and paper, but I notice that I am hesitating.
I am afraid the list will be a short one.
I should never have stopped running."

How sad it is that for so many of us that this is true. And it particularly hit home to me, because recently I feel like I have rediscovered my metaphorical running shoes. I have never really struggled with the 'meaning of life' but I have struggled from time to time. Right now though, I feel excitement in the small things and notice things I never paid any attention to before. I am inspired and exhilarated and those running shoes are on to stay.

PS. I am aware, of course, that the real meaning of life is the number 42 and that we are, in fact, just asking the wrong question... (Douglas Adams)

Photos

Oh yes, I completely forgot to say, I updated my Flickr photos with the last of the Australia bunch (click on the title to view).

Flickr uploader wasn't working for me for an age. Lets blame the volcano shall we? Everyone else seems to be blaming it for everything...

April Fool

Forget April Fool's Day. I've started to wonder whether April has just been one big 'fool'. It's certainly been a month of calamity. Let's just say I am incredibly thankful for the RAC, free medical care, the new low NHS dental prices, the patience of my colleagues with my hacking cough and generally being a flake. I'm a little scared I've spoken too soon... After all, it's still officially April. It mightn't be done with me yet.

Still, things could be worse. I'm still smiling. And not through gritted teeth either. Maybe things got so ridiculous there that I just had to laugh it off. Or maybe I'm just happy. Springtime definitely helps. It's my favourite time of year. Watching no less than seven men change the tyres on my car (thus probably solving a few jokes), and hearing the classic line "for emergency medical situations, please call back in an hour" (never get sick in Northumberland) also helped provide some amusement of course.

It's not all been sickness and gloom though: A reunion with some old uni friends involved a few lessons about wearing sunglasses/earrings whilst tickling 3 year olds, rather a lot of cocktails (not at the same time) and rather a lot of fun (though it did make me feel slightly old when we realised we hadn't all been together for nine years). Heading down to Oxford early for a work trip meant that I managed to catch up with some more of the guys down there too. Happy days.

I keep getting asked why on earth I came back from Australia. Aside from the fact that I HAD to come back of course. I can't believe how shocked people are that I'm happy to be home. Maybe it's a 'grass is greener' thing. I love Melbourne and miss it and the people in it dearly, but I also have no regrets about coming home. I WANT to be in England. More specifically, in Northern England. And you know what? In a very literal sense, the grass is actually greener HERE ;)

So what's in store for May? Hiking, climbing, the first wedding of the year, photography (it's about time I dusted off the old neglected camera), running (providing I actually get well at some point), catching up with friends, a little study, and - right at the end - moving back into the city. Bring it on.

continuing madness

So Easter came and went and my waistline survived relatively unscathed. I think the fact that I have pretty much stopped drinking alcohol helps. Of course, the fact that I have merely switched the alcohol for junk food doesn’t. Sinusitis, a fairly gruesome chesty cough, tiredness, busyness and general laziness mean my fledgling exercise schedule has taken a hit. I struggle to believe that I used to have such an intense training regime when I find it hard to motivate myself to stay in the gym for more than 30 minutes these days. But I have discovered decongestants, accepted that sleep is unlikely, tried to become more organised in my busyness (including finally unpacking. More or less.), and given myself a good old kick up the butt. These things, accompanied by the extra hours of light which seem to have suddenly (and gladly) appeared in the day, will hopefully aide my cause.

Easter was largely a family affair, with visits from the brothers and their families. Fact: children are exhausting. I finished the long weekend by falling asleep straight after breakfast on Monday. The nephews are, as ever, delightful and it was good to have the family together as it really doesn’t happen very often. When it stopped raining, we made it out onto the beach. I got a little prolific with the photos as my new obsession with the hipstamatic app for the iPhone overruled all ordinary productiveness for the weekend. That, and playing bejewelled2. But that’s another story, and entirely my brother Chris’ fault.

Spring has sprung. Well, kind of. The daffs are out, the leaves are starting to bud, and it’s staying lighter for longer. It’s still cold, but weirdly that’s okay. Did Australia do something funny to my blood? I no longer seem to be the cold-blooded creature in constant need of a heat source that left the UK 13 months ago. The schools are finally on holiday, so I have been basking in the bliss of no traffic queues for a few weeks. And suddenly everything looks peachy. Or at least it will do when I get rid of this cough.

Gladly, Network Rail called off the impending rail strike that threatened to ruin my trip to Aberdeen and I took my sniffly self up for a weekend with the girls from Vancouver. The sun came out and we spent a day walking along the beach, having what was very nearly a vomitous trip on the galleon at the fun fair (was there really a time when that was actually fun? Judging by the small girl opposite us, perhaps not), eating fish and chips, and ice cream, and maybe just a little beer/wine consumption. Great fun and fantastic to see the girls again, but long train journeys, and I’m pretty glad to be in Newcastle for a couple of weekends now.

The future’s bright, the future’s… erm… orange

The stealing of Orange’s tagline is not really intentional (and a little ironic since yesterday I switched from having Orange as my mobile service provider after 8 years), but really it’s kind of true – the future is bright and it is decidedly orange. That is, orange with a special reflective strip: cone after cone after cone on (seemingly) all the roadways of Britain.

I feel like I have been home for months. Australia feels like a distant dream. I have only been home for 20 days. I am dog-tired. Everything feels very ‘untidy’. I am not sure when I went from being organised and under-control, to being so chaotic. Maybe I should slow things down. But knowing me, that’s highly unlikely.

I’m not the only one. Something seems to have happened in the last few years and suddenly everyone is incredibly busy. Is that just the way life is? Is this just what happens as you get older? Or is it just a coincidence? One thing I have found interesting recently – from reading a few of my friends’ blogs and generally talking to people – is that I am definitely not the only one who is coming to conclusions about what I want to do with my life (or maybe just ‘next’ in my life), and feeling exhilarated by the freedom making those decisions/realisations brings, then being filled with doubt about the rightness of that decision because things are rarely what you expect them to be.

My decision to go back to university, and doing another A Level? Absolutely right. I am not wavering. In fact, my resolve grows every day. However, also growing every day is the niggling feeling that I may have gotten myself in for more than I bargained for. For some reason in my mind, starting an A Level at 29 seemed easy. After all, I already have 3, which I did at a time when I had no direction at all. Having begun to read the course material, I realise that working full time and studying a subject I have not looked at for 14 years is no small undertaking. I have no memory of the basics, and all that ‘life’ experience apparently didn’t necessitate use of my brain. Instead, it has been replaced with mush. A flippant comment I made about having completed my first degree whilst partying a lot, so “how hard could it be to go back to uni and do a degree when I am not partying (so much) and actually paying attention?” may well come back to haunt me. Still, this is all for the good. It is good for me. I’ll keep telling myself that.

Meanwhile, back in the whirlwind, it’s been a great few weeks of catching up with friends – some of whom I haven’t seen in years – in Nottingham and Oxford; getting back into climbing at the new Newcastle climbing wall; starting to catch up with my friends in the North; catching up with family; getting back into the gym; planning more trips; studying; getting back into work; and watching some great live music. Life is very different, but still good.

Next, I’m back on the house hunt…

Back to Blighty

It feels very strange. I have been away for a year, and nothing really changes. I am sleeping in the same room that I slept in when I was 6 years old, driving the same car I have owned for the last 5 years, same dentist, same optician, back in the first city I ever really got to know, back to the same job I had before I left. And you know what? It actually feels good. Well, I need to move to some place of my own soon, but as a whole... yeah, it feels good.

I can't believe I have only been home for a week. Not even. I feel like I have done way too much for so little time. Catching up with old friends, watching movies (note: watching a 3D movie with your mam is SO much fun!), going to gigs, being mauled by the dentist (okay, so maybe that is a tiny bit of an exaggeration), making plans, going climbing, getting back into the gym. My feet haven't really touched the ground. I'm enjoying my last few days off work (back to the grind in the old job on Monday) and continuing my mastering of the art of procrastination, which means I haven't yet finished sorting out my stuff, or started the A Level Biology course I was supposed to be starting... Everything in good time.

I made a big decision at the end of my time in Australia. To go back to uni next year to study Speech and Language Therapy (hence the A Level Biology). So, I have 18 months to work and save, and prepare. Oh, and decide where to apply to. It feels good to have direction - even if I will be forced to stay in one place for longer than a year or so - and I'm really quite excited about using my brain again. I'm such a geek.

But first, I must cast my mind back a week or so. To my beloved Melbourne. I'm so glad for the opportunity to get to know it so well. As a whole, it was an awesome year. The summer particularly topped the awesome list of course. While I'll miss the quirky buildings, the atmosphere, shopping/drinking/eating/coffeeing on Brunswick Street, the warmth, the footy (yes, really! and yes, Cathy I do still have my scarf ;)), the music, the after work drinks with the Yellow crew, eating tofu at Yoyogi with Rom, the laneway bars, the art, the rooftop cinemas (and the ability to have them!); there's nothing I'll miss more than the people. A place is nothing without the people. You all know who you are, and hopefully you know what you mean to me. Thank you for an awesome one, and I'll see you again somewhere, somewhen. Stay in touch. Come visit :)

The whirlwind continues

[oh look! it's another backdated one - I actually wrote this last week, but never finished it]

It's my last full day in Melbourne and I'm sitting in Rom and Silver's house drinking Melbourne Breakfast tea (yummm, thanks Cathy :)) and eating peanut butter on toast. I woke up to Basil (the cat) puking next to my head. Thanks Basil. I hope that's not a sign of the day to come...

Summer appears to have deserted Melbourne early, which is probably a good thing for my acclimatisation, as it seems that winter has not deserted the UK early. It ended abruptly with golf ball sized hail stones on Saturday.

I haven't written anything for an age (again) so I must take a moment to try and work out where the last 6 weeks have gone. It's definitely been fun and didn't involve all that much sleep that's for sure. I've been working 6 day weeks and 9 and a half hour days but still managed to get some socialising time in - spending as much time with friends as possible before I have to leave.

I had a brief escape from the city in the form of a trip to Longwood with Sarah a couple of weekends ago. It's a tiny town in the bush about 2 hours North of Melbourne. It was so good to have a break from the busyness of the city, hang around on Mount Wombat (for the views) and take a walk along the rocks beside the waterfall and just generally breathe some non-city air!